A black mirror - a short prose

A black mirror for an eye to eye confrontation

 

In my journey of life, I have faced the black mirror more than once, as I have always had trouble looking at my pale reflections and dark secrets deep within me. For almost seven decades long, I have walked down the various highways of life and struggled in the shifting sands of some of the world’s most remote beaches with no full moon above and left unleashed and free, completely in the darkness. Yet although free I cannot find myself or the place where my heart can see me eye to eye in the darkened mirror.

Yesterday, I awakened from another nightmare, drenching in my sweat, my conscious struggling to forever forget, the sins I carried with me. Stealthily and silently stuffed in my backpack of worries and what some would call pettiness false pretenses, that haunt my mind when asleep or awake stirring my soul deeply inside. For some reasons unknown, the backpack has gotten heavier and not a word is spoken.

I can’t even watch my own reflection, my shadows have stayed behind me as the sun goes up and down, and no mirror is bright enough to capture the light, as the black mirror leaves me standing there, looking for something in the light and nothing I find, tells me my life is right

I know my time is coming; I can sense the dawning of my spirit within the darkness that is falling. No security camera can catch me, no video of my reflection exists as I dwell deep in the chambers of silence and fear, where words have lost their meaning and my eyes are surely blind knowing that my time is near.

Without a looking glass, a preferred dark black mirror, my eyes can’t see myself in the eye. I tried a lighter mirror but it cast no reflection. A black mirror can see me well, or so I have been told and the truth the mirror can surely tell, discloses my trials and tribulations as I struggle to see myself in the black black mirror.

My face is pale and my mind is dark and sometimes blank just like the mirror. The blackness of the mirror knows no reflection, it captures no light. Trying so hard to see if it would cast my soul or pride, or show the vagueness of my thickened hide, as the sweat rolls off my brow and not a word is spoken.

I chose not to be vain or filled with false vanity looks, but instead it speaks the names of those I have forgotten and speaks of dreams that have been broken. My spirits seeks and never finds the message in a bottle. It seems nobody cares about the curse that someone cast on me when I was young, a curse that has never been broken and the names of those who dwell inside, their names have never been spoken.

Bad Moon Rising - a bad Omen

Bad Moon Rising

Taking the time to look up into the sky, I sense a bad moon rising – a bad omen. The world is spinning rapidly off its center with an associated hustling sprint to tip it left or right on its axis.  There are wars and famine all around us and instead of working to stop these atrocities, we are fueling the fires. A close-up reveals turmoil, hate and dissention out of control and hinging on the brink of another world war.

Looking deep into the souls of these men who rule the various régimes with military power, corruptive financial and natural resource linked wealth and influence, I see deep, dark and brooding dust and ashes forming. This debris will eventually be released into our atmosphere as clouds of hate and division by design and desire spewed by word of mouth and lack of morality.

If you look closely, you can see bright red or crimson ridges of glowing magna flowing and glowing inside the darkness. As this lava like substance leaks from the hearts of evil-minded men, it becomes a part of a much larger flow of magna that has been hidden deep inside our Earth’s crust for centuries. One could blame the devil, but the burden of injustice falls on the shoulders of mortal men.

Taking an estimate of its growth, reality makes it swell into the billions of mankind making the smaller hearts one large heart of hate. Hence the complexity to stop the swelling is to search for the soothing of the soul, the calming of the mind and the steadiness of the hands.

Letting the long arm of racism to dwell in the house of pain and sorrow creates a hardness that is hard to contain as there is no harness designed to stop such an evolution of feelings. Gone are the touches of kindness and compassion, dwindled has the sense of justice towards the poor and as we estimate the distance to increase exponentially daily, we will soon be out of reach of the peace we had all sought so many years ago.

Thus as a human race, we have triggered a star formation – a dark star of death and fate of doom from what we cannot hide. This dense-dark-star is formed by those reddish crimson colored clouds and formed by nature itself into a sculptured figurine of hate and blasphemy that will eventually engulf our souls and kill our spirits to follow the golden rule as we have been taught to do over the years.

Soon, we shall endure intense winds of hatred; we shall be exposed to chemical and nuclear radiation of the massive world powers gathered all in one place on Earth. This hell bound journey is forming. It’s history repeating itself all over again as the apocalypse is forming and Armageddon is coming soon.

 

Why Should I defend Muslims?

Why Should I defend Muslims?

As bad as I feel about how my stand to defend Muslims has changed over the past year, I won’t apologize for my opinions and beliefs we are in dire straits with religious consequences and effects. I am not proclaiming or suggesting Islam is a violent hateful faith. I can’t ignore the facts and see that there isn’t a problem with thousands coming to our country to practice their religion and then turn their attention to us to convert us voluntarily or by force. I just can’t stop thinking that will happen.

Our president has opened up our borders for thousands of Muslim refugees without background checks and the worry of turmoil is real. Now, I know American spirit has always embraced those who want to practice their religion without oppression or fear of being killed for doing so. History tells tales of many battles between good and evil when it comes to the freedoms to choose your own religion. What I fear is the unknown of who will stir the pot of evil once inside our country’s cities and borders.

I have pondered this reality – I am still certain there are more good Muslims than there are bad ones but time will tell whether I am right or wrong on this matter. I know I won’t wear the veil of ignorance like many and continue to count the terror attacks and cause and effects of such negative dynamics inside our country and our way of life. I still honestly feel there are many good things about Islam but right now, my level of apprehension is based on the lack of knowing what will happen in the future.

I respect the religion as a means to attain peace. I really think that can happen but not without radical ideologist getting prime time on the television to say otherwise. I don’t make fun of Islam and neither do I joke about Christians and their beliefs. That is a matter of respect and fundamentally believing we all have to worship the God of our choice. Poking fun or stirring the pot of hate has to stop in order to stop the radicalization and extremism that is happening today. It causes hate and misunderstandings.

The threats against Islam must stop and the threats against Christianity must cease as well. Enough hate has been created by pitting these two groups against each other. Since I don’t engage in this hate mongering or fear mongering delivered by extreme right wing individuals who want us to rise up against all Muslims, my frustrations is will all those who are willing to listen, follow and act blindly without thinking for themselves about the truth and the lies told to them from the pulpit or the auditoriums around our country. This includes our presidential candidates who add to this boiling point of creating hate out there.

As long as Muslims respect human rights and our Constitution, I see and fear no problems with all of us living here together as a nation and peacemakers. On the other hand, if their intent is to disrespect our bill or rights, our constitution and divide their own against our cultural and societal law and order principles, we have a serious problem to deal with. It can’t be both ways and the American way of life is based on mutual respect and understanding different cultures but our Constitution shall prevail in all matters of law and human rights.

There are distinctive differences between our way of life (constitutionally) and Muslims preaching the Islam religion that contradicts recent court rulings in many areas such as same sex marriages, homosexuality, the ownership of property, the manner of executions for criminality, and the temptation to use Sharia law to oppress their own citizens.

Like I said, I don’t condone the wave of anti-Islamic messages across the country. I condemn any hatred towards those who seek peace. However, to hell with those who want to promote and convert our citizens to Islam either voluntarily or by force. That is something we cannot stand by idle and expect all to be sane and purposeful. It defeats our way of life and destroys the American spirit.

Muslims are given a choice to select their own leaders. Sadly, they often choose some degree of religious fanaticism. Whether they can meet or conform to our way of life is unlikely to be accomplished without violation of their religious beliefs. That’s not going to happen very often.

Like I said at the beginning, I am reaching a point where I really don’t know where to go or what to say any more about this subject. It’s becoming harder and harder for me to keep saying “it’s not Islam, it’s just the bad ten percent of guys representing the radicals.” I know there are millions of good and great Muslims in this world – I have talked to and met quite a few not to be fearful of their presence. I believe overwhelming majority that most are generous, loving and great individuals.

Theocratic governments [a form of government in which God or a deity is recognized as the supreme civil ruler, the God's or deity's laws being interpreted by the ecclesiastical authorities] have always, and will always bring hateful ideas to the forefront and breed violence and oppression even when the opposite is truth. The truth is often deceived and hidden thus it becomes hard to be able to distinguish the difference between the truth and the lies.  

As long as Muslims continue to refuse to fight inside their own country and take the easy way out with flight toward nations founded on principles of freedom and human rights, in my opinion, in the end, they are prone or tempted to rebuild and establish the same principles they fled and act out contrary to our cultural and customs as they are inevitably driven by Islamic rule due to their religious mandates – In my eyes, none of this is going to stop - how can I keep defending it from those who spew animosity toward it? How these thousands of pending refugees will act will determine our destiny.

Coming Cultural Clashes with Muslims

 

Cultural Clashes Coming with Halal and new Muslim Refugees

Halāl (Arabic: حلال‎ ḥalāl, 'permissible'), also spelled hallal or halaal is any object or an action which is permissible to use or engage in, according to Islamic law. The term covers and designates not only food and drink but also all matters of daily life. How this will impact the quality of life, economic growth or influence with the influx of 100,000 Syrian and other Middle East refugees coming to the United States, is yet to be determined.
Generally in Islam, every object and action is considered permissible unless there is a prohibition of it in the Islamic scriptures. Clarification and or consequences are given below in detail as to what is considered to be a permissible object or action in Islam, along with the exceptions.
Halal is most often used in reference to foods and drinks, i.e. foods that are permissible for Muslims to eat or drink under Islamic Shariah (law). The criteria specifies both what foods are allowed, and how the food must be prepared. The foods addressed are mostly types of meat and animal tissue.
The most common example of non-halal (or haraam) food is pork (pig meat). While pork is the only meat that cannot be eaten by all Muslims at all [for the Koran forbids] , foods other than pork can also be haraam. The criteria for non-pork items include their source, the cause of the animal's death, and how it was processed. It also depends on the Muslim's madhab.
The food must come from a supplier that uses halal practices. Specifically, the slaughter must be performed by a Muslim, who must precede the slaughter by invoking the name of Allah, most commonly by saying "Bismillah" ("In the name of God") and then three times "Allahu akbar" (God is the greatest).
Then, the animal must be slaughtered with a sharp knife by cutting the throat, windpipe and the blood vessels in the neck, causing the animal's death without cutting the spinal cord. Lastly, the blood from the veins must be drained.
Muslims must also ensure that all foods (particularly processed foods), as well as non-food items like cosmetics and pharmaceuticals, are halal. Frequently, these products contain animal by-products or other ingredients that are not permissible for Muslims to eat or use on their bodies.
Foods that are not halal for Muslims to consume as per various Koran verses are:
Pork
Blood
Intoxicants and alcoholic beverages
Animals killed incorrectly and/or without Allah's name being pronounced before slaughter
Animals slaughtered in the name of anyone but "Allah". All that has been dedicated or offered in sacrifice to an idolatrous altar or saint or a person considered to be "divine."
Carrion (carcasses of dead animals, i.e. animals who died in the wild.
An animal that has been strangled, beaten (to death), killed by a fall, gored (to death), savaged by a beast of prey (unless finished off by a human) or sacrificed on a stone altar.

As you can see, there are many conflicts in the American way of life versus those verses in the Koran. Social events will have to cater to various ethnic and religious beliefs and customs and practices differ significantly that the basic American way of life.

I am certainly not advocating boycotting or even assuming these vendors or manufacturers are engaged with ISIS or any other Muslim Terror Group - that is yet to be determined  as time passes by but one has to be aware of the cultural clashes coming up with Halal and Muslim refugees seeking Halal food items not sold in every store in the USA. 

With approximately 190 cities receiving thousands of newly arriving Muslim refugees, this will be expanded and brought to the forefront in a fast and expedient manner by our government who embraces this movement.
 

Fedelis ad Mortem

Fidelis ad Mortem

“Faithful until Death”

 

Most of us who served in the military, para-military or some kind of law enforcement capacity know of the brotherhood and sisterhoods that develop within the rank and file when it comes to unity, loyalty and commitment. One could not possibly understand what Fidelis ad Mortem means but it is likely to be deeply misunderstood unless they are or were once a member of such an organization that thrived on such motivating metaphors to incite an adrenalin rush or emotions when faced with difficult challenges.

There are two important personal properties required to fully understand the concept of brotherhood and sisterhood in dealing with such organizations and its respective cultures – professionalism and having common sense should prevail under all conditions. It’s a narrow road but a path nevertheless.

Professionalism because you have to remember that 90 percent of them are good decent people who show loyalty to each other till the end and common sense because going against the grain creates conflict with your moral and ethical values that guide us in our relationships and work performance. Although each person is different, the baseline of loyalty is unquestionably the strongest.

There is very little room for coward hence the 10 percent of those who are bad and morally corrupt people. Generally speaking, those cowards are the ones who hid behind the badge, the rank, the authority and just don’t have the mental and emotional strength and capabilities to put their fear aside and do what they have to do under dangerous conditions or situations.

In time, their deeds sort them out and identifies them as weaklings. Certainly, some were never cut out to be soldiers, Marines, sailors or warrior as well as police officers and other law enforcement positions that serve and protect us as guardians of justice and liberty.  I will never hold it against someone who finds that they don't have what it takes the first time they fail to act in a frightening situation. I do hold it against someone when they continue to work in law enforcement knowing that they cannot do all of the job.

Speaking from my own experience, there are times when everyone is scared in law enforcement. Being able to suppress that fear and do the job is a non-negotiable component to working in law enforcement. Without a doubt, there will be situations where they will be asked to place their own safety and lives on the line for fellow officers, friends or LEO agents or the public, and then, sadly, it is then when they start to realize just exactly what they have signed up for.

Some “cowards” are those who don't fight (physically) when a fight is necessary, those who don't help victims of crime or accidents when they can, it's a long list. Bravery is part of a public servant’s occupation or job. One can understand being scared as fear is a natural condition under certain terms but fear can be controllable and should be done so to prevent panic of self or others.

Some “cowards” lack the emotional strength to conduct themselves morally straight when approached with a confrontational situation where they have to choose between good or evil – one should always have the moral strength to reject corruption and accept the challenge of denying anyone the pleasure of soiling their name, moral character or reputation.

What is most important to remember is your name, character lives and dies with your deeds. How you are remembered and how you are honored is based on the fact you did what you had to do in order to maintain your ethics and integrity without a doubt, one of the hardest things to do as a person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why are we Fighting another Christian Led Crusade against the Muslim zJihad and Killing in the Name of Jesus?

Why are we Fighting another Christian Led Crusade against the Muslim Jihad and Killing in the Name of Christ?

We have to ask ourselves, how did we end up in this Middle East mess and conflict. What did we do to get involved in another crusade like the one a thousand years ago and land up in strange land that in all realities, has nothing to do with our way of life or culture? Certainly, this is all a political mix up that can be reversed or is it too late for that. I suspect we are deeply entrenched in another Holy War that will last for decades with no definitive results of who wins and who loses this fight.

Today we have no Saladin, but we have numerous Muslim leaders at war with us or fighting with us. We have entrenched our troops in Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan and now Syria. The list will certainly grow and it is eventual, all these collective efforts will certainly fail as this region of the world has been at war forever. This situation Syria is heartbreaking and once again, our country is deep at war with Russia joining the fight to support the very same tyrant the U.S. is trying to remove from government by helping the rebels win this war.

Why we took sides can only be expressed with deliberate confusion. Syria’s rules is a war criminal and Russia’s promise to help him remain in power contradicts our efforts to kick him out of control. Stuck in the middle are Muslim refugees and innocent people of Syria who are being killed by both sides and flee their country as the bombing, battles between ISIS and rebel as well as troops loyal to Assad the tyrant who has murdered his own people with bombs, chemical agents and other weapons for over a decade or so.

History tells us it has been about one thousand years since the last crusade was actively fought against these Muslim tribes. This must be the destiny written for this region as wars appear to be plentiful and fruitless. Most of the people have no choices as governments fight for land, oil, power and control of the resources and their religious rights. So here we are; Muslims from Syria, Egypt, Libya, Afghanistan, Iraq and Pakistan in the mist with Saudi Arabia and others watching from the sidelines.

This is most certainly a significant event in our history. There is a lot of ignorance about Christian history and the crusade wars from the past and how these events are related depends on how you see these events unfolding compared to the last series of crusades and Holy War jihads. Like I stated before, I was born in a Muslim country and lived around that culture for the first ten years of my life. The only thing I ever learned about Islam was what was said around me and what I learned from observation.

I never considered the followers of Islam, our Muslim brothers and sisters, the enemy. I would guess and say that even though my suspicions were alive after the bombing and terrorist attack of 9 / 11, I still did not know enough about Islam to be comfortable in their beliefs. How Americans became involved in the most modern crusade is something of a mystery to me. I mean, from my own mindset, America was never involved in any of the previous crusades so why now; why are we fighting a religious faction we have no common bond with nor do we have a reason to hate them for who they are. Fundamentally speaking, and with a certain political perspective, this is the most mysterious part of this war.

The way I see it, even justifying the retaliatory strikes after 9 / 11, there is a huge problem with us being over there. The United States is supposed to be a nation of open minded individuals but by all means and based on political and combat actions – American culture has become myopic in nature and dangerous to the world as it interferes in every conflict on this earth.

Even if you go back to the very first year our country existed, there was no crusade and there was no war against the Muslims. This conflict never made it across the ocean and was not part of our history. The best we can do when we talk about our religious background and churches are the days of the Pilgrims and perhaps even the Revolutionary War but nothing in reality was connected to the crusades.

When the crusades were being fought our country wasn’t even a country yet. It never became involved in the conflict, the battles, and the good versus evil and there was no great peril. Fundamentally, I find that very confusing. So other than the fact that masses escaped Europe to get away from the religious persecutions and discrimination, we were a country that was built on many different religions including Christianity which appeared to be the main foe of the Muslims during the crusades.

So I have to ask myself, are we fighting a Christian Jihad against the Muslim Jihad and what is the point of this war? Going after the terrorist and Osama bin Ladin made sense but the rest of our strategies to invade, control and occupy land in the Middle East did not. Even if there were weapons of mass destruction as claimed, it was a European problem, not an American concern.

I can’t recall the Catholics being in arms, the Protestants protesting and the Baptist taking to the streets chanting war slogans and carrying signs. Sure, America was mad and outraged at the terrorist attack but we didn’t think it would launch us into a full scale global war against so many different Muslim nations. There have always been Christian armies versus Muslim armies but this terror attack wasn’t warranted nor justified and fundamentally wrong.

I was and am neither a pacifist nor a war monger. I have fought in the South Vietnam War and experienced war first hand and know of its ugliness and suffering. We got into this war because we got mad at the Muslims around the world? Is that what happened? Sure, this was a major quantum shift in government ideologies that brought us into this war. We created the conditions for this war – a moral war and certainly not a justified or necessary war. However, just like the Pope did back in 1095, we escalated a moral war into a holy war without reasons.

Our commander in chief drew a line and committed troops to fight in a strange country for whatever politically concocted reasons they could come up with. Our President wanted a war, any war, perhaps just a war but it turned into a Holy War since it was drawing lines between Christianity and Islam without any justified reasons to do so. Those attackers of the World Trade Center were people and it should have been people we targeted and not a religion. Certainly nobody promised anyone an eternal salvation or absolute assurances that if you fight these Muslims, God would be by your side for the same could have been said for the Muslims as their god Allah would support them in their struggles.

As confusing as this was, most American people basically shrugged their shoulders as they put their unconditional trust in our country’s leadership. Failing to legally justify this war, rumors, lies and false accusation were manufactured and fabricated to escalate this war. Just like the Muslims were shouting to kill the infidel (the USA) we were chanting to kill these Muslims. Thus a war was escalated and turned into another crusade based on conflicts of religion and hate based activities.

In my own experience in war, there is no significant distinction between a combatant and a soldier. Terminology used to justify torture and intelligence gathering methods illegal and unacceptable under our own laws. There were no battles inside mosques or churches – most battles were from the air and on wide open battlefields or cities. So how did we end up fighting a war and escalated it into a holy war? How did this war culminate and grow so quickly.

Every war has a winner and a loser. America likes to win and its soldiers want to win; on the other end, every Muslim soldier wants to win as well. Based on what we are going through, there won’t be a civilization to enough the spoils of war if we keep killing each other the way we are killing each other today.

Fear mongers are saying we are fighting because Allah wants the world to become all Muslim. Even if you give them the benefit of the doubt and count ten percent of the Muslims as jihadist, this is hardly enough justification to conduct a war on such a vicious and violent scale as thousands, no millions of innocents are being killed for reasons not well known and likely never fully explained.

So today, everyone is putting their heads in the sand and doing what I call the American patriotism -- it's cool to make war America. It will not stop unless we see a clear head-on-a-stick victory; a victory that will never come. Whether we like it or not, that's not the point, the war is still here.

Today, there were two polls that came out which said that there were eight million Muslims in America -- and this is the one that C.A.I.R. supported (the Counsel of American/Islamic Relations). It is likely to grow even stronger as the war prevails and is sustained fostering hatred and apathy towards the patriots and siding with the ‘victims’ of this war. It is Vietnam all over again with our government losing grounds with its own people.

Today we have a strong political movement inside the USA. Communities are settling in with Arabs, Muslims and other denominations other than Christianity. We know a little bit more now about the cultural Islam and we consider our country to be a culture of Christianity but times are changing. The biggest difference between Christians and Islam fundamentals is the frequency of prayer and worship and the strength in their faith and religions. If you aren’t practicing you are a Christian and the same goes for a Muslim living inside our borders.

The irony is that the USA is now accepting refugees from Syria and the other countries under fire and enduring a viciously fought war. This has united different sects of Muslims for the first time since Saladin, the one Muslim leader who fought Richard the Lionheart in the crusades. Today, they are united because of Osama bin Laden for the war that was sought after by our government has implode and exploited our own country more so than it has those countries where the troops were sent to fight and die in the name of democracy and freedom.

America today is a sleeping giant – our people have been apathetic and ignorant of these wars and unaware or too dumb to realize we are about to be conquered from within - there is some commonality along the whole spectrum of Islam as our own government has now facilitated the means to bring mass numbers of Muslim refugees and give them settlement in our own country and prosper like they are part of us but forgetting that these refugees have been enduring the hate, the wars of the past crusades for centuries longer than our own and find out today that besides having a grudge by way of the Christians of the European nations who fought during the crusades........... they  now have a common enemy with the USA as they joined in the last crusade of this world order to inflict so much pain, so much suffering in their fight against terrorism, that every Muslim feels their own people were the real target of American hate, power and their lust for waging war against them.

How many Al Qaeda were mixed amongst them; ask any Muslim if there is a connection between Iraq, Syria, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Libya and Egypt or any other Muslim country and the bombers of 9/11. We all know.

22 a Day - A veteran passes away - Suicides

22 a Day – A veteran passes away

The war has been over, the months have passed and here I am crying my tears all over again. I thought I would likely die in combat, the war was so unkind as my friends were dying right beside me, while my guilt to survive was never left behind.

There is no blame to point the finger, the war was my choice as I signed up unconditionally to fight and protect our freedoms. Coming home, I ain’t got a pot to piss in as I lost my everything, including my family, my home and my soul.

Feeling lonely, filled with guilt, I stuffed the white powdery stuff and sniffing till I could no longer stand. My addiction was killing me but the thoughts of dying here and now, were kept at bay by the misery and darkness surrounding me.

I must confess, the trigger finger was itching to find the way to make it end. There was no one there to see me through, there was no way, this feeling of doom would pass so I thought about this murder of myself as I laid there staring at the ceiling and staring at the neatly stacked shells.

I had a Smith & Wesson, a Glock and a Colt AR 15 that I kept there by my side. For my mind was evolving around so quickly, it spun my world so madly, leaving my sanity behind. I felt I had no religion, my hope of surviving had all but gone down the drain. Nobody was there to catch me, nobody was there to share the pain.

I could feel myself a slipping; the head was dizzy with thoughts of going down and end this misery forever. I have sat there in those therapy groups, listening to a group of born again Christians.  Hypocrites they were, I saw no gain in their friendship or keep this company of heathens around me. I knew I needed to be alone.

Choking on emotions, I felt the clock on the wall ticking. My life had no ambition, my heart had no more passion or the human desires to stay alive. I felt I was no longer in existence, my spirit was dying and the flames of hell had come alive. The heat was overbearing, I felt hardly alive.

Staring at the black wall in front of me, I wondered if they would miss me if I were gone. I wonder if I would make history and post my face on the TV for the six o’clock news but in reality, my soul felt empty without a care, and the time had come for me to ask the grim reaper to come and get me.

Oh I knew I would not live forever – I knew they had lied when they said they cared and when I cried. Of course, I knew I could not live forever, even inside my heart, a part of me had died. No longer shouting “forever.” No more will the force or beat of my heart feel the sensation of being alive as the blood no longer rushed like it did before when I felt alive.

I cried, I tried, and I can’t deny I wanted to die, when those around me left there all alone forever. My mind was planted with roadside horror and exploding minefields all around. My license plate gave away my story, a veteran riding alone and ready to die.

Coming home, I never sat high in the sun or glory. My mind was filtered with pain and darkness all around. Somehow, somewhere I had lost my mind and fell down on my knees with a broken spine. I watched their backs like they did mine. I took care of them soldiers’ six mighty fine. I thought it would last forever, I thought they would never die. But you better not look back, or step on that crack, or the world would explode and leave you with a broken back.

I am sitting here staring at the trigger, I loaded one round to see if I had the heart to die. I called the cops, I told them the end game was coming. I never committed no crimes but I knew it was time to die.

I knew the cops were coming. I never talked to them as I turned away from them to talk to God. I told Him it was over, I tote my guns and ready to die. I had a .223, a .45 and a 9mm right there by my side. My pain, my shame and my lack of pride, I could no longer hide.

So here I am, joining 21 other soldiers, Marines and veterans, ready to give it all and lay down my soiled and weakened mind. I polished my Glock with a mighty fine shine, I knew the cops were coming and I sat there silently waiting for them to knock on the door.

Never committed no crimes, I waited for the sun to simmer down and bring the shadows on the wall. Sitting there, without a purpose, I day dreamed of the black Hearst that would take me away into the night. Feeling worthless and knowing I can’t survive the time, I knew it was time for me to die. In the distance, I hear the sirens coming. I knew my time had come to die.

A knock on the door, the cops have come in numbers. Weapons drawn they storm through the front door. Even now, strangers make me nervous, who's that peeking in my window with a pistol to my curtains and then suddenly, I found my trigger finger on the Glock and forever let it shine to dim the lights.

 

 

 

Trying to Understand Islam

Trying to Understanding Islam

 

I was born in a Muslim populated and controlled country – but I know little about the Islam religion. Raised and cultured in the United States, it has been a struggle to explore my family’s heritage and background after we left the island of Java, Indonesia around circa 1950.

It was a time of civil war and the people who did not belong to the Muslim population, had to depart without all their belongings, leaving behind relatives native to the island and move out of the country. I clearly remember domination and discrimination as the tools of the government taking over the country from its former possessor, the Netherlands.

Living in the United States since the age of 11, I have acquired all my customs, culture, religious, education and even my military experiences from the USA. I acquired my United States citizenship when I served in the U.S. Army and went to South Vietnam to fight a most unpopular war.

When the two planes struck the World Trade Center (WTC) on September 11, 2001, and the third plane hit the Pentagon, my mind was blown into pieces of horror and anger that took years to get over. Every year, every anniversary of that mass destruction of our humanity in New York City, I feel a little hate towards those who participated and cannot deny these feelings are stronger than I ever expected them to be.

My mind was irrational – how could this have happened in our own country where we were supposed to be safe from such terror attacks. No rational mind could wrap the facts and truth around this event without losing a touch with the reality that something bad had happened and nobody could have stopped it. Naturally suspicious in nature I wonder – could they have stopped it or was this part of our destiny as a free nation?

From that moment on, I grew more suspicious of those who shouted the hate and chants of “death to America, Allahu akbar.” I still hear the echo in my mind of those words and am reminiscent of its meaning as it was translated immediately after the 9/11 tragedy.  However, the media exposed and exploited this chant to become a slogan of hate and war; a jihad kind of action.

Yet, in all reality, this chant has nothing to do with war; it is a peaceful introduction to all their Islam prayers. No matter how incorrect this chant was applied, the media wouldn’t cut loose of these words and managed to twist the truth around so we all hated and feared those to be words of a jihad and not peace.

Still, we heard those celebratory chants from Palestinians and other Muslims around the world as the WTC burned to the ground taking with it, thousands of innocent lives. The memory remains vivid and the hate sometimes burns deeper than I would ever want to admit to under certain circumstances. Slowly, I am becoming convinced the chant is indeed benign in meaning but remain cautious about those who chant it.

Thus, even born in a Muslim country with some slight recollection of its way of life, I appear to be still clearly upset about the chant and have negative views about Islam and its religious views and purposes in our world. I can’t help but find it inflammatory in nature and harder to forget or forgive.

Echoing, clearly inside my head I hear, ““Islamic extremists have declared war on America.” Perhaps it is true, conceivably I might be suffering from a severe case of Islamophobia and everything connected to this religion. Somehow, I still believe that many believe that this is the religion of Jihad and a massive religion that preaches a Holy War on non-Muslims that includes the Christians and Jews; that it shares none of our values and is barbaric, aggressive, primitive and sexist; that it supports terrorism, and wants to destroy our Western way of life.

I have to admit that I am still guilty of holding some of these perceptions myself despite knowing next to nothing about Islam. With the mainstream media acting as a complicit agent in promoting islamophobia by daily equating extremists with all Muslims, how do I even begin to counter my own Islamophobia? Certainly, I have a responsibility to address this matter constructively and peacefully. I should be able to relate and understand Islam better than I do now.

Inside prison, as an officer and an administrator, my experiences with the celebration of Ramadan exposed me to some of the Islam practices – certainly, insufficient in quantity and quality of knowledge. As a religion, I gave it my respect like I did all the other religions in the world. However, my respect was hindered by the 9/11 event as I could not disconnect the event with Islam. I was stuck in a rut and overwhelmed by a powerful social condemnation that the media inspired.

The Ramadan fast is meant to remind Muslims of what life is like for the poor, who can’t eat or drink whenever they choose. That was one principle I clearly did understand. I ensured the religious ceremonies and the appropriate fasting or time allotted was adhered to and tried to ask as much about Islam that I could under the circumstances.

I have a choice, I can move on and begin to trust the words of Islam or I can cling onto my fear that there is something subversive about this religion not yet revealed. I might admit some ignorance of Islam; in fact I will admit that this ignorance is one reason for writing this today. I want to look and find the peace in the hearts of all people whether they are Muslims or not – I want the world to come together in peace and leave the wars behind.

I have fought in a war – a man-made hell where people died and suffered. It [war] cannot continue to exist under any or all circumstances but I fear it will be renewed as soon as one war is won or lost and the truce created does not prevail or sustain such tranquility in our world.

Today we deal with a potential World War III as we fight in the Middle East over land, oil and powerful influences. We see Israel suffer and barely buffered against aggressions by many others. At the same time, I condemn the violence on both sides of this struggle in the Gaza strip or the territorial squabbles.  I see Russia jockeying for more power and influences and the apathy of rich and powerful Arab nations doing nothing to stop the war. I cannot help but think, this is the end game we have all be waiting for – surely we can do better than this.

 

Provocation of your Mind - Part II on Islam and Christianity (My thoughts)

Provocation of your Mind – Part II

Since his election as our President, I have kept an open mind and a supportive attitude towards Barack Hussein Obama and his presidency. In fact, up until lately, I had never criticized him by name or position for the respect of his office as our president. However, that is rapidly changing. I no longer keep silent about my feelings towards him, his vice president and his former secretary of state.

 

They have all demonstrated and disclosed behaviors, words, and actions that betray the American way of life in its purest sense and foundation. They have and are presently still………. Undermining our constitution. Gathering my thoughts on this matter, I researched the president’s words and how he stood on Islam and Christianity in our world.

 

Notice: Remember that these are my thoughts and nobody else’s so keep that in mind as you read this. It is after all is said, conjectural and speculative in nature and not necessarily factually applied to the situation these words were spoken and delivered.

 

Citing an article written by Geofrrey Grider, on October 2, 2013, I gathered some of the president’s thoughts which he has conveyed to the public, foreign governments and his own staffers appointed with his authority to act on behalf of the United States. In all honesty, my writings were prompted by a personal discussion in the home where another person challenged me to debate the patriotism of Allen West, a strong critic of our president.

 

In his own writings, Allen West alludes to the president’s comments about Islam and Christianity in his own web blog that is controversial because he appear to me [my opinion] to be a blunt and honest speaker as well as a writer. Allen West, in my opinion is an American patriot and should be recognized for his work to tell or expose the truth about what is happening in American society and media outlets. His comparative listing of approximately 40 quotes from our president reflects an ideology I cannot and will not agree with.

 

In return, I invite you to research your own findings and determine your own conclusions about the president’s mind provoking statements and his intentions of bringing a collective idea how to embrace this religion in our country.  To quote Mr. West, it paints an “interesting picture.” He mentions that he tried to balance the POTUS words on Christianity that were favorable but was more concerned about public awareness of the words spoken and those ‘left unsaid” as to the true nature of our president’s intentions. He writes that some of those unsaid words leads to an ideology of the Black Liberation Theology which we all know is a growing concern inside our country as it radicalizes our men and women as well as children as disciples of the Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s church and gospel.

 

So where does Barack Hussein Obama stand on Islam and Christianity? You decide that on your own – it is not my resolve or desire to change or influence your mind and believe what I believe it to be.

·         “The future must not belong to those who slander the Prophet of Islam”

·         “The sweetest sound I know is the Muslim call to prayer”

·         “We will convey our deep appreciation for the Islamic faith, which has done so much over the centuries to shape the world — including in my own country.”

·         “As a student of history, I also know civilization’s debt to Islam.”

·         “Islam has a proud tradition of tolerance.”

·         “Islam has always been part of America”

·         “We will encourage more Americans to study in Muslim communities”

 

·         “These rituals remind us of the principles that we hold in common, and Islam’s role in advancing justice, progress, tolerance, and the dignity of all human beings.”

·         “America and Islam are not exclusive and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles of justice and progress, tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.”

·         “I made clear that America is not – and never will be – at war with Islam.”

·         “Islam is not part of the problem in combating violent extremism – it is an important part of promoting peace.”

·         “So I have known Islam on three continents before coming to the region where it was first revealed”

·         “In ancient times and in our times, Muslim communities have been at the forefront of innovation and education.”

·         “Throughout history, Islam has demonstrated through words and deeds the possibilities of religious tolerance and racial equality.”

·         “Ramadan is a celebration of a faith known for great diversity and racial equality”

·         “The Holy Koran tells us, ‘O mankind! We have created you male and a female; and we have made you into nations and tribes so that you may know one another.’”

·         “I look forward to hosting an Iftar dinner celebrating Ramadan here at the White House later this week, and wish you a blessed month.”

·         “We’ve seen those results in generations of Muslim immigrants – farmers and factory workers, helping to lay the railroads and build our cities, the Muslim innovators who helped build some of our highest skyscrapers and who helped unlock the secrets of our universe.”

·         “That experience guides my conviction that partnership between America and Islam must be based on what Islam is, not what it isn’t. And I consider it part of my responsibility as president of the United States to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear.”

·         “I also know that Islam has always been a part of America’s story.”

·         “Whatever we once were, we are no longer a Christian nation”

·         “We do not consider ourselves a Christian nation.”

·         “Which passages of scripture should guide our public policy?  Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is OK and that eating shellfish is an abomination?  Or we could go with Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith?”

·         “Even those who claim the Bible’s inerrancy make distinctions between Scriptural edicts, sensing that some passages – the Ten Commandments, say, or a belief in Christ’s divinity – are central to Christian faith, while others are more culturally specific and may be modified to accommodate modern life.”

·         “The American people intuitively understand this, which is why the majority of Catholics practice birth control and some of those opposed to gay marriage nevertheless are opposed to a Constitutional amendment to ban it. Religious leadership need not accept such wisdom in counseling their flocks, but they should recognize this wisdom in their politics.”

·         From Obama’s book, The Audacity of Hope: “I am not willing to have the state deny American citizens a civil union that confers equivalent rights on such basic matters as hospital visitation or health insurance coverage simply because the people they love are of the same sex—nor am I willing to accept a reading of the Bible that considers an obscure line in Romans to be more defining of Christianity than the Sermon on the Mount.”

 

 Obama’s response when asked what his definition of sin is:

 

·         “Being out of alignment with my values.”

·         “If all it took was someone proclaiming I believe Jesus Christ and that he died for my sins, and that was all there was to it, people wouldn’t have to keep coming to church, would they.”

·         “This is something that I’m sure I’d have serious debates with my fellow Christians about. I think that the difficult thing about any religion, including Christianity, is that at some level there is a call to evangelize and proselytize. There’s the belief, certainly in some quarters, that people haven’t embraced Jesus Christ as their personal savior that they’re going to hell.”

·         “I find it hard to believe that my God would consign four-fifths of the world to hell.  I can’t imagine that my God would allow some little Hindu kid in India who never interacts with the Christian faith to somehow burn for all eternity.  That’s just not part of my religious makeup.”

·         “I don’t presume to have knowledge of what happens after I die. But I feel very strongly that whether the reward is in the here and now or in the hereafter, the aligning myself to my faith and my values is a good thing.”

·         “I’ve said this before, and I know this raises questions in the minds of some evangelicals. I do not believe that my mother, who never formally embraced Christianity as far as I know … I do not believe she went to hell.”

·         “Those opposed to abortion cannot simply invoke God’s will–they have to explain why abortion violates some principle that is accessible to people of all faiths.”

·         On his support for civil unions for gay couples: “If people find that controversial then I would just refer them to the Sermon on the Mount.”

 

Other quotes by Obama –

 

·         “You got into these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton Administration, and the Bush Administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. And it’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”

·         “In our household, the Bible, the Koran and the Bhagavad Gita sat on the shelf alongside books of Greek and Norse and African mythology”

·         “On Easter or Christmas Day, my mother might drag me to church, just as she dragged me to the Buddhist temple, the Chinese New Year celebration, the Shinto shrine, and ancient Hawaiian burial sites.”

·         “We have Jews, Muslims, Hindus, atheists, agnostics, Buddhists, and their own path to grace is one that we have to revere and respect as much as our own”

·         “All of us have a responsibility to work for the day when the mothers of Israelis and Palestinians can see their children grow up without fear; when the Holy Land of the three great faiths is the place of peace that God intended it to be; when Jerusalem is a secure and lasting home for Jews and Christians and Muslims, and a place for all of the children of Abraham to mingle peacefully together as in the story of Isra — (applause) — as in the story of Isra, when Moses, Jesus, and Mohammed, peace be upon them, joined in prayer.  (Applause.)”

·         “I believe that there are many paths to the same place, and that is a belief that there is a higher power, a belief that we are connected as a people.”

 

Sources:

 

http://www.allenbwest.com/2014/04/obamas-40-alarming-quotes-islam-christianity/

 

http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/blog/?p=15200